September 7, 2014

end cycle / current situation

Sorry for the silence. For the past year or so, life has been extremely difficult. If you are following me on instagram or if we are friends on facebook, you are probably aware of what happened recently. It has been almost a month now. At least now I can get up in the morning and make it through the day without crying or feeling completely helpless, even though everything still hurts.

Most of 2013 and every single day of 2014 so far has been a struggle. The psychological stress accompanied by the monotonousness of everyday life and work made me exhausted. Now I'm trying to take tiny steps, doing those little things I had no energy left to do before. Like today. I sat down at my kitchen table after breakfast with my laptop, opened chrome and (a little nervously) typed in the address to my blog. No entry since november last year. I can't believe how fast time passes by without you even noticing.

As you can see, I have made some changes to the design. Bigger images and a slightly more clean look. There are still some details I want to fix, but at least this is a step on the way. It feels so good to be able to have enough space in your mind to post something new here. Oh, if you have sent me an email - I promise I will reply all of you soon enough.



So, for my very first entry in 2014 - here is a little hello from my living room. I don't think I have shown any more images of the apartment since we moved in a few years back. Leia and Sputnik turned two years old a week ago, I can't believe that either. 

Last night we built a fort with pillows and sheets in front of the couch, had popcorn and wine, watched a movie and played videogames until we fell asleep.

21 comments :

  1. Life is very cruel... but it's amazing you feel even a little bit better, it's very hard, the struggle, but I really hope you can make it. Thank you for still being here. Take care and late happy birthday to your cats.
    - Mary

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  2. I can't really imagine how you feel... I just send you the biggest hug i can.

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  3. Keep on fighting and feel no pressure blogging - but it's nice seeing you again.

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  4. So sorry to heat about your mum. Hope you get better soon, and just thought you should know that you are a huge inspiration to me ;)

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  5. I have never posted here before, but love your work and we seem to share quite a few things... Analoge camera love for instance.
    But more so I wanted to send you a big hug, my heart goes out to you in this horrible time. I feel with you, as I am experiencing the same thing. 70 days ago today I had to say goodbye to mom. Same as you we kind of knew this was coming, but I just never anticipated how
    bad things would become. Until the last day I was still hoping... I guess that is one way the mind is coping with a situation that is just
    to big to really understand.
    Wishing you strenght and glimpses of hope lighting up those dark days.
    It might sound funny, as we are strangers, but if you want to talk and maybe
    share thoughts feel free to send me a mail.
    nicnilla@gmail.com


    Take good care and be gentle with your feelings.
    All the best,
    Nicole

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    1. Thank you for your comment, Nicole. Somehow it is at least a little comforting knowing that you are not alone in this kind of situation. Knowing that there's always people out there who, unfortunately (of course), is going through the same or similar things somehow makes you a little stronger. Hopefully we can all pull through the most difficult times.

      My mum had been sick for a long time, but I still hoped everything would get better even until the last day, as well. During this summer she was actually feeling a lot better and even her doctors thought it was fantastic. And then everything changed drastically. I think this made it all a lot harder to accept.

      I am so sorry for your loss as well - sending you all my love and thoughts.

      xo,
      Annette

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  6. I'm so sorry for what happened. and I totally understand (or at least I think I do) that it takes a lot of time and courage to get back to am every day life. I'm so proud of you for taking these first little steps, if you stay strong (and I know you are strong!) you will keep those good memories but don't let control what happened your present. you can do this I believe in you! and I really really love your photos so I hope you will post more from now on *.* best wishes to you <3

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  7. Just lost my dad. So, I know, and I send you some love.

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    1. I'm so sorry - all my love to you <3

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  8. It takes a lot of courage and nerve to even bring up such a painfully heartbreaking subject. I just hope time makes things easier to cope for you... and of course, the cats might help :) And remember: the blog, like other things in life, is all about quality, more than quantity and frequency.
    I wish you all the best.

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    1. Thank you Nancy. You're completely right about the cats, they are comforting little souls :)

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  9. amazing retro interior! <3 and cats... !

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  10. Dear Annette, it's really good to see you back! Life goes on, please stay strong...

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  11. I have said it on Facebook before but I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It's good to see that you're trying to live as normal and hopefully doing things that would take your mind off what has happened. I'm so glad to see you're back on your blog though.

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  12. It's wonderful to hear from you again and I wish I could give you a big hug.

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  13. Jag är så ledsen för din skull

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  14. Thank you all so much for your sweet words. It means a lot to me.

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  15. I'm so sorry about your mum. It's good that you have this creative outlet where you can escape to if needs be. And you have your lovely boy and cats for cuddles :) xx

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